Saturday, November 28, 2009

Over it... a breakthrough in life

So, perhaps my last post had you all thinking I was in it for the long haul. God had other ideas. I threw myself into this new experience full force. And while I thought I had met someone for good... I was wrong. And that is ok. While I thought God was telling my heart he was "the one", I think he was just preparing my heart for me to find "the one". I was SO wrapped up in this experience and how much I liked being in a relationship, that i guess I let it fool my heart. But boy did I love the way I felt. I loved feeling lighter than air, and getting a smile whenever I heard from him, thought of him, or talked about him. I almost felt silly. I couldn't believe how fast it started and how much faster it evolved. But although I am sad that it has ended... I am even happier that I now remember the joy of feeling special and "loved" by someone other than family and friends.
As much as I loved that feeling, I am going to TRY and focus on things OTHER than searching for someone... haha. Tell that to the recently aquired eharmony subscription. But who says I can't keep my eyes and heart open while exploring other things??? After all, these things take time.
So here are the top 10 things I'm focusing on right now.
1) Accepting myself for who I AM, and who GOD WANTS ME TO BE. Trying to remember that while I may like to plan, God's timing and plan for my life is much more likely to be successful than my own. I need to trust it.
2) Going to church again
3) Foster care review board that I am now a member of
4) Training to become a CASA (court appointed special advocate)
5) job searching *STILL*
6) Branching out and meeting new people - STEP 1... a singles game night tomorrow (today)... and no, this is not an attempt to meet a mate. Just friends and fellowship.
7) My returning love of literature. YAY! I've finally gotten over the "panic attacks" that I aquired during grad school. My newfound author that I LOVE is Jodi Piccoult. Finished reading "handle with care" in less than 4 days... what an amazing story. My cousin Kendra is kind enough to send me her collection, yay!
8) Accepting things for what they are, and nothing more. According to my late uncle david: "if you can do something about it, do it; if you can't, don't waste your time and drop it". How refreshing this concept is... and less stressful.
9) Going to Sarah's masters graduation!!! I cannot tell you how proud I am of her for FINALLY finishing her thesis and graduating! I love her so much, and can't imagine my life without such an amazing and influential friend.
10) Last, but not least... blogging more and creating a support group in my town for those with chronic illness.
Oh yeah, and exercising again... more.

Apologies for the length, but it's been awhile... it's late, and, well, it's me.
In the words of Sarah "I know you can't imagine anything better than this, and don't want to... but maybe this is preparation for someone even better." Way to go Sarah, you hit the nail on the head once again... and a month before I figured it out :).


Sarah said...

I'm glad that you are doing so well. You are handling this experience with such grace and a positive attitude. I absolutely think that this whole thing will lead you to be a "better" stronger, and more empathetic person and counselor (although you are pretty great in those areas already). It is what you make of it, and you are making it a positive experience.

I am super excited about graduation, too! I so couldn't have done it without your encouragement.

We rock, huh? lol :D

John Gugie said...

Good, honest post. I agree with everything you wrote. Sometimes, it's better not to search for things because they often show up when least expected.