Saturday, July 17, 2010

It's so hard to say goodbye

Well, I didn't get a chance to blog much while my Goddaughters and aunts were here visiting, but I have a ton of crazy fun, funny, and heart touching stories from while they were here that will be filling my blog posts for awhile.

It will be a good way for me to capture and share the memories we created during this visit. Memories that unfortunately, will have to last me a very long time.

This visit was a fair bit more low key than they usually are. We seemed to spend more time at home doing stuff than out running around. Which was really nice. I love all the little adventures and stuff, but also loved just being able to stay around here and do the little things. Like these...

swim... until sunburnt. in the moonlight. by the dawns light. Playing wii (and realizing I am really bad at the racing cows game) watching movies that include snuggles, kisses, and I love you's.
fashion shows... from my closet (which reminds me I need to account for all of my shoes. Madison has good taste, and the same size feet, lol.
snacking. lots of yummy snacks, even though we didn't do as much cooking this year to give us all (especially mom) more time to just interact.
pedicures - Madison is crazy talented at nail art, so she gave me a pedicure.
makeover's- my makeup stash + girls, need I say more?

And so, so, much more.

Last night, mom and I had the bright idea to keep the girls up as late as possible for two reasons 1. tire them out for the trip, 2. squeeze out every last bit of time we had with them left.
I think we watched 3 movies, made innumerable kitchen trips, texted (Madison, this is your new favorite thing), and did nails. Emma was the first to crash, at about 12:30, followed by mom at 1am. Madison and I were the last hold outs. We cuddled up on the recliner side by side at about 2:30 and were asleep almost instantly.

At 4am, Aunt Brenda woke the four of us. The girls slept in their clothes so they could just head straight for the car. We got another half our of snuggle time while last minute things were loaded in the car. Then after lots of hugs and kisses, the girls were loaded in the van. I smiled and said goodbye, told them how much I was going to miss them. Hugged my aunts and said the same to them. The van door closed, and then they were on their way.

I made it to my room before the tears that had been welling up in me began to flow. And flow, and flow. I. miss. them. I will be good for awhile, and then I'll find a sillyband, a note they left me, one of emma's books, a clipie... and it will all start again. I feel like my own kids have been taken from me. And it hurts. But tomorrow is a new day, and I have lots of wonderful things in my life. And people that make me happy, and who love me. But still... it is so, so hard to say goodbye.

Monday, July 12, 2010

Happiness and Love all around me

I just want to say even with all the agony I've been in; I'm so happy. My family is visiting from Pennsylvania, and I have missed them SO! There are other wonderful people in my life as well, adding to the love and happiness I feel. I'll give more details in time; and have several mini posts about my adventures as Aunt Cat during their visit.

An Emma qoute as a teaser "Seriously!? You shouldn't do that in public!"

Oh, and I've also earned a new side title of "aunt moose" ... no telling.

Cough Like a Real Woman...Beware, it's long

OK. Some of you are probably wondering why the heck I haven't posted anything lately. Well, I have a legitimate reason... many of them actually...Over 75 to be specific.

The last couple weeks of June I had bouts of stomach bugs/flu, etc. At least thats what I thought. For an entire week and a half I went without being able to keep in anything but a few ice chips. Halfway through it I was in such distress that I requested to be taken to the hospital. I'm used to getting sick more than normal; but even for me, this wasn't normal. I was kept in the ER for about 7 hours. I was exxtremely dehydrated (duh) and had what they claimed to be a stomach flu as well as bronchitis. FAN-FREAKIN-TASTIC! Was given IV nausea medicine, an incredibly disgusting mix of malox and lidocaine - which I was suprisingly pleased to get because it stopped my throat from burning from all the stomach acid I was vomiting up. And a boat load of IV fluids. They sent me packing at 6am ith an RX for sublingual nausea meds and antibiotics. Damn thing didn't work well at all. Anytime I tried to eat anything but ice, I lost it (to put it mildly). Another few days of this and I again decided things were not normal and needed to be taken to the ER.

So this is when I get REALLY pissed. Here I am, in the wheelchair too weak to even walk, sitting in the triage room. my nose was itchin g really badly, so I was rubbing it. Damn nurse says to me "no wonder your stomach is messed up you are shoving snot up and back in". Lady... newsflash: I've itched my nose for 27 years of my life and not once has it caused this intense stomach pain and nausea. I get in my teeny tiny ER room and get poked, proded, etc. they determined it was my gallbladder after the most agonizing abdominal ultrasound. A surgeon was paged immediately due to the severity. He came in and was extremely pleasant, informative, and reassuring. He determined that it would be safest to get my pain and nausea under control before surgery, admitted me and then hooked me up with some medicine that allowed me to rest for the first time in week +. Surgery was first thing in the morning.

Because of the chiari surgery I had, they have to be super careful when intubating me. Turns out they were able to get the tube in without tourqing my neck at all. Evidentally I scared the pants off the anesthesiologist when describing my different conditions. Dr. Dunn performed the surgery and was less than pleased to find the worst gallbladder he had EVER seen. Over 75 gall stones, many of which were the size of golfballs. It was so enlarged he had to make the one incision twice the size he would usually need. In addition to this awesome find, he got another suprise. Because my gallbladder was SO enlarged, it pushed into my liver... and they grew COMPLETELY together. So that had to be surgically separated. AWESOME. mind you, this is a normally same day procedure. I was hospitalized for four days and nights. My appetite would not come back, and the pain was very hard to control, in addition to my lungs collapsing. Normal = NOT ME. So, skip ahead to my follow up.

Appetite has returned, had about a week where I ate everything that wasn't nailed down. This also included a strange and unexplainable craving for meat. Was on some painkillers that did a great job keeping me comfortable, and evidently hillarious. Then the week came to an end, the painkillers were running out and I was still in way more pain than I thought should be. So I got a refill of something different that kinda worked but wasn't as effective. Had my follow up appointment. Went well-ish. Aside from the fact that my bellybutton had COME OPEN! Oh, and he had to remove a knot that had worked its way through the skin at the one incision. SERIOUSLY?? After gluing me and taping me back together (literally surgical glue and steri strips), he placed his hand on my bellybutton and says "cough". So after a puzzled look from me thinking this sounded more like something he would be saying to a man while checking for an "issue"... I cough gently. He explains he needs to check and make sure I don't have a hernia under the bellybutton. So, again he says "cough, but COUGH LIKE A REAL WOMAN". After laughing hysterically at the comment, I oblige although it was EXTREMLEY painfull. No hernia, thank goodness! My orders are as follows: no work for another 2-4 weeks... seriously. No lifting, plenty of rest, etc. Oh, and more pain pills... because ITS NORMAL TO STILL BE IN PAIN! "If it hurts, don't do it".

And that is the long ass story of how I got another four scars.