Tuesday, July 17, 2007

A friends wedding and Random thoughts from yours truly...

Sunday October 22, 2006

So... I am positively miserable tonight. I feel like I'm coming down with something, or it's just the excitement from the day.

A friend of ours got married today... it was a Catholic ceremony, with plenty of kneeling-praying-kneel-stand-sit-pray etc.../ My friends and I went together, which was great... the inseperables minus one were back together again!

It is actually kind of sad to go to these weddings... but I love them anyway. I cried...yes, I cried. The photo queen was there to capture the special moments and provide tissues for the mother of the bride. Not to mention ponder when and if I will ever get married.
I'm thinking I want to wait until I have started my practice... or more importantly, starting to date again would be a good start (lol)! No one knows what life brings. The boquet toss was interesting... I almost caught it, until it took an unexpected and hillarious twist of fate... and clobered one of my friends on the head. She didn't catch it... it caught her right upside the head . Guess she's next!

Balancing time with friends is an interesting task, so is replying to/ignoring (depending on who or what people say) new people that have taken a sudden interest in me. Completing assignments on time is also a daunting task ...
I'm so tired it hurts, but I can't seem to sleep. Letting go of the day is difficult for me, and it's making me crazy!
My mom is finally coming home after over a month in PA helping take care of an injured Aunt. We are very close, but lately I feel myself pulling away. Not from the closeness... but from the whole answering to someone... I have grown so much intellectually, spiritually and socially during this semester, and I don't want to... oh hell, I don't know!
I am also missing my Goddaughters desperately right now, and vice versa. Ok, so that's all for tonight

November, 2006 Pain Attack

OK... let me just say OW! Not writing this to whine... just vent. The rain is getting to me worse today than it usually does. Just sitting upright is painful for me right now. I have a class tonight where I'm going to be going over 3 chapters... marvelous. And tomorrow I have about a 2.5 hour drive home for the weekend. I'm totally wishing I could skip class right about now, but that wouldn't be very studious of me now would it.? I seriously think I might cry, and that's unusual for the pain to be so bad that I can't handle it. Normally I suck it up. Ok, so that's enough bitching for today :)
Love to all!Cat

I Remember

I remember when I was fearless to the point where I would walk up to random people and say "excuse me, I have nothing to say"...

I remember getting a package of Leigh’s and going to the mall in PA and randomly placing them over people’s heads and saying "you have just been laid"...

I remember walking to Hardees in my aerobics class in HS while wearing a Chiquita banana costume and then singing "Happy Birthday Mr. President" while standing on the table...

I remember when I had enough energy to get up at 7am after a rowdy sleepover and then at 8am proceed to walk the neighborhood singing "my backs a breakin' my bra's too tight" with mountain dew in our hands.

I remember when energy was always there, and it wasn't necessary to sleep for hours on end just to do things I enjoy.

I remember when I didn't need medication to keep me going every day, to keep the pain at bay and my energy at a somewhat normal level.

I remember when life seemed carefree and the world was at my fingertips.

I remember when I didn't have to pretend that I feel good all the time.


I remember new people coming into my life, and mixing things up. New friends, new experiences (really new)!

Now I remember feeling a little bit of invincibility in recent days, and that scares me, because I tend to push myself too hard.

I remember wondering what I did to deserve such wonderful people in my life.

And why someone would actually be interested in me.

I remember crying just the other night, like I have never cried before… because I just want to be normal again. The word hysterics does not even begin to explain how distraught I was.

I remember feeling that maybe I am not as strong as I once thought. How can I help others, when I am hurting so bad inside, but I feel like I have to hide it… or explain it.

I remember… I am strong enough.

God brought everyone into my life when my heart was open and ready to accept them. He did not give me more than I can handle, I just need to be reminded of this once in a while.

I remember, I have friends going through things that I could not handle. I love you all. Thank you for your love and support, laughter and friendship, silliness and insanity. I am blessed.