Sunday, August 06, 2006


So, I am still struggling with the loss of my dog, it's going much better now, but still hard. When I heard a song the other day, it made me cry. "I let you go, I let you fly, why do I keep on asking why"... it was exactly how I felt.

My animals, along with my family have been a large part of my ability to cope with my illnesses. And I think that is what makes it so hard for me. Some days I wish I was just normal...but then again, who determines what is "normal"?

Everything I have been through, especially the bad things, have made me who I am. I feel that God has done this FOR me, not TO me. But some days I still get FRUSTRATED and SAD!
Most of the activities that I love doing, I can no longer do because of the brain surgery I had. I can't go horseback riding, no parasailing, going on roller coasters, or anything else like that. Just thinking about it makes me sad. I owe my life to the doctors and the surgery, and my family...but oh the pain, the desire to have had a normal 4 years in high school. Prom, homecoming, bad grades, all of those little things that people take for granted...I long for.

I am much more mature than my peers, and have been through more in my lifetime than they probably ever will... but you know what, that is life. This is my life, and I have a purpose. I will help people, and I can't wait to start. I am hoping that in some way, this blog that I am starting will be a small dent in what I hope to accomplish in my lifetime.

So for now, God bless, and live each day the best way that you know how, because a portion of it can be taken from you at any time, without warning.

1 comment:

A Lui said...

Another thing life throws at us! Of course since I'm reading this to catch up on knowing you, I have all ready seen that you are STRONG! You're human and you will have moments like this... you know that you're not alone.