An archived post that's just too funny not to share since it never uploaded last time...
You know she's a best friend when....She wants to know all about this new guy your dating. You give her info. Her follow up; "would this be an inappropriate time to make a murder joke"? ... Proceeded by "great! And hey, if it doesn't work out he should know multiple creative ways to kill ya and hide the body w/o anyone being suspicious!"
Thanks, Sarah :)
Hey all, just wanted to share something real quick. This is my cardboard testimony that I shared at Easter services while singing "This Blood". There were approximately 10-15 of us who shared our personal testimony of how Jesus helped turn our trials into triumphs and safety.
He was wounded for our transgressions, and nothing but the blood of Jesus can wash away our sins or heal our soul.
Simple. Straightforward. In your face. 12 words or less. Impact. (The bottom pic should be on top, but oh well.)
Treasuring the fact that my eldest Goddaughter still claims me as HER aunt cat, and no one else can compete with her love for me!
My beautiful bestie gave birth at 2:39pm on 11/9/12 to a healthy baby girl McKinley Cait. She was 7lbs 8oz 20" long... Precious as they come!
Well, one of my besties will be 40wks pregnant Monday, and was scheduled for induction that day. Something made me wake up to the vibration of my phone text... Which I normally ignore. She's at the hospital with strong contractions. I felt it! Come on McKinley! Give your momma a break and let her have an easy delivery, minimal pain and happy baby! Can't wait to meet you!
<3 aunt cat
They say memories are golden Well maybe that's true But we never wanted memories We only wanted you.
A million times we've needed you A million times we've cried If love alone could have saved you You never would have died.
In life we loved you dearly In death we love you still In our hearts you hold a special place No one could ever fill.
If tears could build a staircase And heartache build a lane We'd walk the path to heaven And bring you back again.
Our family chain is broken And nothing seems the same But as God calls us one by one The chain will link again.
~autthor unknown
We miss you Rachel!
This past week leading up to the one year anniversary of the death of my sister in law at 34 has been wreaking havoc on me.
Just how many people do you know of that break down in tears at the county clerks office? Switching the title over from her name to his... Damn, that made it real... Very real.
After that I've had short bouts of tears for no reason. At the time; it was all mechanical. This, this, this, and that needs to be done. No time to think, no energy to allow for tears or weakness. I needed to be the strong one for my brother. I don't regret doing any of it one bit, but as the day gets closer (Friday, the 26th)... The more evident it becomes to me that I never really grieved... I just did what needed to be done.
I was driving to pick him up at work today the song "his mercies" came on the radio, and set me off AGAIN.
The song itself is beautiful, but this particular portion really hit me and reminded me that hey, you are still needed where you are, this is the purpose I have for you right now. Do not question.
" Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops, What if Your healing comes through tears, What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near, What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise"
I trust your trials, Lord, I do... Well, I do my best.
Friends, fellow bloggers, please remember us, pray for us, my bro especially, and my whole family as we make it through the end of our first year without her.
Tomorrow will be exactly a year from when my sister in law was hospitalized. On October 26 she left this world, and left us all with a big hole.
At the start of this month my brother and I have been experiencing her presence. Things showing up, being moved, dreams, etc. It's a bit strange, yet oddly comforting. The following lyrics from Barry Manilows song "I know you're there" explain it perfectly.
My friends all use the past tense when they speak of you And so to make them comfortable I use it too They'd soon have me committed if they only knew What I believe with all my heart is true
I know you're there Although it's nothing I can prove I know you're there By just the way the shadows move And though I said goodbye and finally let you go I know you're there Although I don't know how I know
I know you see The crazy things I sometimes do They make you laugh So I still do them just for you And when I'm entertaining all the friends I love I know you see And that you're laughing from above
You needn't panic I'm not consulting any guru Calling psychics Or practicing with voodoo I'm not manic or depressive I just miss you
So I'll go on Enjoying every lovely day Because I'm sure You would've wanted it that way And when there's sorrow it's no more than I can bear Because you are, and always were, and always will be there
Hey all, sorry for missing yesterday, I had to recoup from my trip and think about some things.
The very thing I'm healing from has reappeared in my life proposing reconciliation. I have some concerns about doing so. But as long as I follow my heart and take my brain with me, I should be ok with whatever I decide. I also need to remember todays' thought on healing...
"Do not seek a remedy in others, but only in yourself."
-Mencius
Where in your life is todays' thought applicable to you?
"Give light and the darkness will disappear of itself."
-Erasmus
Well folks, today is random acts of kindness day. Appropriate, given the thought I had chosen for today.
Today was our last day visiting Atlanta, and it didn't exactly go as planned. We ran into so many hiccups but I remained calm throughout most of it. I maintained my friendly demeanor for 98% of the time, and acted kindly, gave light. I noticed that people really responded to it. Everyone was friendly in return and smiled, spoke kindly. That was the silver lining to our foil plated day. And that made it wonderful!
Until next time, I would like to know how you would perform a random act of kindness. It doesn't have to be some grand gesture, just something kind that you wouldn't always do. Can you commit to doing something like this for any interval of time in a month, a week, a year? I realized when I gave light, I got it in return, but that will not be my reasoning to do so again. Go, my friends, give light into the darkness of this world!
"Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art... It has no survival value; rather is one of those things that give value to survival."
- C. S. Lewis
This is the Gods honest truth. And by the grace of God and sheer dumb luck I have had the most amazing friends put into my life. Friends who take me and sit through doc appts with me, visit or call, send silly texts to cheer me up, run me around or just talk to me.
Or, like one friend, he knows, or should know who he is... Comes to the e.r. in the middle of the night to help console his friend.
I've never forgotten that friendship or the unspoken bond that we've always seemed to have. Even after being out of touch for years, his unexpected smiling face reminded me how much I missed talking to and chilling with this great guy! Just like the cliche great friendship, after not speaking for ten years... Each time we have, its like nothing has ever changed. He's still that inspiration, voice of sanity and relaxation. I always feel so confident and empowered after speaking with him. I hope that I provide him with some semblance of the same. I love you! And I love all my friends! You are all the key to survival, and that's the truth!!!
Hey everyone. I just realized that I didn't really give any background to what I'm doing. Someone gave me a tiny box right before my 1st surgery with a small stack of cards inside and its called "a box of thoughts on healing". Each card holds an inspirational message related in some way to healing physically, mentally or emotionally. So, with that said... Here is todays thought on healing....
"Healing is a matter of time, but it is sometimes also a matter of opportunity."
-Hippocrates
I'm taking the healing into my own hands and enjoying life as a single and Godly woman who is daily striving for a closer walk. The opportunity to heal is mine, and I refuse to hand that over or allow to anyone else to toy with or try to change. I'm a strong, confident, and immensely life loving woman with a lot to offer. It's about time I allow it to enter in.
Until next time, tell me your thoughts on the post and how YOU plan to integrate this into YOUR life.
"The bravest thing you can do when you are not brave is to profess courage and act accordingly."
- Cora May White Harris
I've prayed on everything I professed in my while I'm waiting blog. I just need to act.
Lyndon Tucker Miracle, due to arrive December 2012. Son to Arley and Cory.
Can't wait to meet this little guy, ever since I heard his heart beat in one of my best friends bellies! It's not finished yet, but it's getting there!
And another one bites the dust, so to speak. Perhaps I should quit loving with my whole heart, that way when it ends it might not hurt as much. Fortunately, for anyone who knows me, also knows that this is a preposterous concept for me. Everything I do, I do with my whole heart; that will never change... Even if I do have a greater chance of being hurt again.
With this loss comes a desire in me to find a love greater than all the ones before. An even greater desire is that God leads that man to me and opens my eyes and heart when the time is right. That he reveals the love he has for me. Please pray that prayer with me.
A few things I've been doing to help prepare myself... Joining the church I've been attending, considering joining the choir. I've also been reading the five love languages for singles at the recommendation of a friend. I've also written out meaningful songs, phrases, and verses to encourage me in my healing and walk toward the future. In the coming weeks I will share some of the songs, verses, sayings, etc.
While I'm waiting by john Waller is the most meaningful to me. Below is what I plan on doing (two verses from the song)
"I'm waiting, I'm waiting on you Lord. And I am hopeful, I'm waiting on you, Lord. Though it is painful, but patiently I will wait."
"I will serve you while I'm waiting, I will worship while I'm waiting"
Until next time
I will post more about what my family and I have gone through over the past several weeks as we cope with the passing of my sister in law at the young age of 34; but I just can't get through a whole post about it yet. For now, these are lyrics and video of a song that I have found particular comfort in right now. I have sometimes asked why, and did this really happen... But I try and always come back here, and take comfort in the message that I know is true in my heart.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xGPS8sa-bRQ&feature=youtube_gdata_player
"Praise You In This Storm"
I was sure by now God You would have reached down And wiped our tears away Stepped in and saved the day But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining
As the thunder rolls I barely hear Your whisper through the rain "I'm with you" And as Your mercy falls I raise my hands and praise the God who gives And takes away
[Chorus:] And I'll praise You in this storm And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn I will praise You in this storm
I remember when I stumbled in the wind You heard my cry to you
And you raised me up again My strength is almost gone How can I carry on If I can't find You
But as the thunder rolls I barely hearYou whisperthrough the rain "I'm with you" And as Your mercy falls I raise my hands and praise the God who gives And takes away
[Chorus]
I lift my eyes unto the hills Where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord The Maker of Heaven and Earth
How often do you see your friends post how great things are in their life? About how awesome their bf/gf/spouse/significant other is to them, the cute thing their kid just did or how great their co-workers are?
How often do we see happy little pictures posted of sweet moments, kind gestures, and fun times posted?
How often do you do this yourself?
For me, its ALL THE TIME!
I would hazard a guess, and pretty much guarantee that for every positive status update there are 20 more that are less than wonderful.
And here's the thing... If we are only communicating through facebook, email, instance message, and text, we miss what's really going on in the lives of people we care about. You can't decipher meaning behind words with no voice to match the tone to. And that can be detrimental. The strength of the relationship will likely weaken with these impersonal forms of communication; and while our "friends list" may keep growing online, it could quite possibly be decreasing in life.
So my plan...for every person I contact frequently by these impersonal means, I'm going to start replacing one text or whatever with a phone call or a visit to them. I'm starting small, because I've depended on the other forms for so long that it'll be difficult. But I think it is important to get back to the basics, hear a voice, see a face, and share a meal. I want to truely know what is going on in peoples lives...not just what they plaster to paint a better picture.
Will you join me and do the same?
What are some ways that YOU can get back to the personal side of communication?
This Friday I will be attending my 10 year high school reunion for CHS class of 2001!! I honestly can't believe it.
Why is it so important to me? One reason... It almost wasn't. My health troubles almost prevented me from walking with my class, much less graduate with it. But I was determined.
I must admit though, I did throw myself a little pity party after hearing that it was coming. You're probably wondering why. Let me explain;... -I still feel a sense of longing for those missed years of high school. The dances, the, friendships, dating, even the drama. All of those things that most take for granted, I would have killed for. -I'm not married, never have been. -I'm not in any kind of commited relationship. -I don't have any children -I'm not even terribly successful. ... I had this irrational fear that I would get to the reunion and get pitty stares etc, because I am significantly lacking in the areas that my other classmates seem to be excelling in. I guess the tendancy to compare ourselves to others in a measurement of self worth extends beyond the sheltered hallways of high school.
I gave myself a pep talk and have pretty much let go of the negative associations that I had previously applied. I have decided to instead, focus on the positive things that have happened in my life since graduation...to thank the people who not only got me to graduation itself, but through the past 10 years to boot.
Special thanks... -my friends, for providing me support and friendship in a capacity fitting to their age at the time. For providing me support and friendships beyond high school, new ones, and strengthened old ones. I wouldn't have kept my remaining sanity if it weren't for them. You know who you are. -to my doctors, physical, occupational, & speech therapists who made the diagnoses and initiated the treatments needed. A special thanks to Dr. Peter C. Rowe, for providing me with the knowledge, compassion, and tireless efforts on behalf of my health, when other doctors just dismissed me. -to Dr. Dan Heffez, for finding the source of my paralysis, pain, etc, and correcting it through surgery. -to Joe Gager, my physical therapist who worked so hard to get me out of the cervical collar that I could have otherwise needed to wear for life. For teaching me how to walk again, allowing me the ability to WALK...unassisted across the stage and receive my diploma. -Dr.Romaniuk, for coordinating my care with my team of doctors and always treating my family with the utmost respect and concern for my well being. -to Carol Gregory, my homebound teacher who provided me with the ability to continue my education and stay on Target for graduation when I otherwise would have been forced to drop out and get my GED, for the friendship and genuine positive regard for me as a person, not just another name on her class roster. -to my family, who have been there and supported me through it all, providing solace from the harsh realities and perceptions of people who were uninformed and/or not keeping my best interest at heart. For believing in me. -and most importantly, my parents, especially my mother. She never left my side, and remains there to this day, daring anyone to question the validity of my suffering. For always loving me, even when I made it difficult.
There are so many other people I could thank, but it would take me a year.
Some numbers.... Since graduation... - 10 years. 3,650 days. 525,600 minutes. Multiple weddings. 3 surgeries. 3 degrees. The knowledge who really belongs in my life. Immeasurable laughs, smiles, and memories that I will never forget. That breakdown wouldn't be possible without all of you, so thanks. You have added so much to my life, and I love you all more than words can express.
Happy Wednesday everyone!
I want to tell you a little story about how I was asked the most important question of my life.
I spent a ton of extra time with my girls this summer, and I hope to share with you our many adventures. And since these precious momemts are always slipping through my fingers, I tried to capture every minute while I could.
One Sunday afternoon my aunt called me into the sunroom to talk to me. I was a bit nervous because she doesn't usually do that...so naturally I thought I was in for some kind of big future talk. Boy did I hit the nail on the head, she wanted to talk the future alright. That Sunday, she asked me if I would be willing to be the legal guardian of her daughters (my Goddaughters) Madison and Emma, should anything ever happen to their primary caregivers. She said she waited until I had plenty of time around them again to see all sides, and how I handled them. After observing us together, she said that there was no doubt in her mind that I was the right choice. Not only did she feel that I was the best person, but I'm also who the girls want to be with if they can't have their "normal". I don't ever want to have to do that, but if I did, I would become their new "normal". I would be their rock, and they would be my light. How crazy amazing is that!?!?
While I wiped away the tears that came in response to this incredible question, and we began getting into details about it, I realized that we hadn't heard a peep out of the girls for awhile. Quiet is never a good sign when there are non sleeping children in the home. Long story short, I found Emma handcuffed to the toilet at the hands of her big sister. I, of course, took a picture of it.
After my little discovery, aunt Brenda asked if I was still sure. I told her that I would be proud, honored, and humbled to be that safety net for her. than knowing the girls would be in my care if anything happened to her. I certainly hope that the day never comes, but knowing that someone trusts me and loves me so much that they would entrust their children to my care, now that is incredible.
Until next time... a little note to my girls...
In the event that the day ever comes, and I pray to God that it never does... know this, sweet girls.
I have prayed for you since the moment you became an unspoken desire in your mothers heart. I have loved you since that desire became a dream come true for us all. I have rejoiced with each milestone, wept for every boo boo and broken heart, laughed at every silly moment, kept every secret, answered every heartfelt question, danced to the music you bring to my life, and I would miss you even if I never met you. I will always be there. I might be miles away from your house, but I will never be miles apart from your heart. I'll be your rock, as you have always been my light. I love you!!
Aunt Cat
I recently had a friend pop up from nowhere after not speaking to me for MONTHS (mind you, this is one of those friends one obtains in a relationship...and then when it ends you wonder who gets the friend, and said friend wonders where their loyalty should really lie) his and her friends...another casualty of the failed relationship. This particular friend requested I make him a pie. Which is, of course, the only natural thing to ask a person that you haven't heard from in forever. Musta been a Damn good pie.
Now back to ... Pie... Yum. What a tasty and relatively easy dessert to make. Unless, of course... you have the assistance of two little hands and a mouth that eats more fruit than gets put in the bowl. Last year mom promised Emma a blueberry pie but made a blueberry pecan and peach cobbler instead. For Emma bear, that concept was less than palatable. Food is not supposed to touch, and it really shouldn't be cooked together...it just shouldn't. Unless of course its milk macaroni and hotdog aka juicy macaroni...then its ok, according to her. A dessert with blueberries, pecans, and peaches isn't cool aunt Barbara...silly aunt Barbara.
So again...pie...
I had picked a ton of berries at the vineyard the day before the girls arrived. I did so with the intention of having my Emma bear help make that long awaited blueberry pie. We worked together, I measured, she poured, etc...and her most valued contribution was when she working tirelessly as our in house quality control specialist, making sure we were using high quality and tasty ingredients fit for human consumption.
I'm pretty sure we got more flour on the counter, floor, hair, etc and blueberries in our bellies than ended up in the pie, but it was the experience more than the outcome. I must say though, it too, was a Damn good pie.
